Gym Instructor: So what’s your favourite machine to use here at the gym?
Me: The Vending Machine
if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember this one time in my english class, we were writing horror stories and one of the girls wrote “it was friday the 13th, the night before halloween” for her opening sentence
*jokes about making out with you until it actually happens*
I’ve decided I want to be cremated. Not when I die, just whenever. Surprise me.
when you think you’ve screwed something up but it all turns out ok in the end
David Tennant with his wife
David Tennant without his wife
I’ve been laughing at this for three years